A Brochure for My Friendship.
• fairly positive attitude (nice.)
• punctual (sounds good.)
• makes a decent soup (delicious.)
• imagination (hi.)
• will hate your enemies with you and insist that you brainstorm revenge strategies. i.e.) “Fart Bomb dude. Seriously, no one gets hurt- and buddy just ends up smelling like mad shit. They’ll be so confused and offended. Flawless plan. No, you just toss it n their hoodie.They need to be wearing a hoodie.”
• claims to be punctual but is not in fact all that punctual.
• laughs at teen pregnancy.
• tell you things as if she is telling you a secret but it’s just a regular thing. i.e.)”Shhhh… I had a sandwich for lunch yesterday. It was pretty good. shhhhh…”
• too punctual?
PROMISES & GUARANTEES
• Sara will give you contradictory relationship advice. i.e.) “You don’t need anyone.You just need to need yourself, girl.” A minute later, “ You just need someone who you can rely on and make some memories with. Is that too much to ask?”
• Sara will actively listen to the details of your crazy dreams.“Wow, that’s so crazy.What else happened? No way. Elbow Guns? That’s retarded.You’re retarded.
• Sara will talk to you about how terrific it would if you were at Medieval Times Dinner andTournament.“Picture it.”
• Bury a time capsule.“And then we’ll come back in 10 years, light a candle, and dig up this here time capsule. What’s your name again? Well you look like a Karen. That guy looks like a Mike. Man, I am so good at this.Where are you going? I thought we were going to watch Jurassic Park on your flat screen?
• Spaghetti sauce time
• “She loaned me seven dollars.” - Mack
• “I don’t know.What is this for?” - Steph
• “Here you are.” -mailman
• “You can just go to sleep until you get hungry.” - Sara’s Mom
• “Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly. He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye. He waited his whole damn life just to take that flight. And as the plane crashed down he thought,“Well isn’t this nice.” -Alanis